“I need to lose weight first” …

I hear this all the time.  And I even say it myself occasionally.  It seems our weight (wether your a size 2 or 22) seems to hold us back from doing so many things.  It’s the number one reason women give me for no booking that session for themselves now.  So today, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before.  I’m going to let you see two sides of me.

I am currently at my biggest weight ever.  A year of stressful life changes will help that along pretty readily.  And while I could let it influence my every decision, I choose not too.  Did I just get a new gym membership?  Sure I did.  I deserve to work on me and be my best version of myself, and that requires me to get healthier.  That said, my weight doesn’t stop me from getting in front of the camera.  I refuse to be that mom who doesn’t have pictures with her kids because “I look too fat”.  I refuse to believe that I’m not beautiful or sexy because I’ve gained some extra weight.  I refuse to let the “ideal” make me feel like less of a person, or less of a woman.

before pic, with the weightHell in heels t-shirt, laying on back, still carrying extra weightfeet on wall, pearls

Please excuse the bad cell phone pic, but I wanted to show that just because my body is full of flaws, it doesn’t mean I can’t still look pretty darn sexy. (A big thanks to Sara Means for helping me!) I may not ever be the “ideal” woman, but I’m ME.  I deserve to celebrate that every single day, and so do you.

It’s finally here…

I know I’ve been absent from my blog here lately but it’s for a very good reason. I was finishing up my book “The Business of Confidence”. And now it’s finally ready!

It’s no secret that I love what I do but the reasons for that are often misunderstood. This book is all about why I do this, how I got here and what the boudoir experience does for all of us. I truly hope you’ll take the opportunity to check it out.

I’ve been a writer my whole life but had never put those skills to use in this way. Publishing a book is pretty scary and exhilarating all at the same time. I’ve included a lot of my personal journey in this book, which makes me feel extremely vulnerable. Vulnerability is how we grow though, so I’m very glad I did it.

Please check out my book on Amazon HERE.

Stepping out on a limb

I have a confession: I’m easily intimidated by other people.  I’m told I come off as super confident, but inside, I’m a shaking, quaking mess.

I attend a lot of public networking events and things like that to promote what I do.  They make me sick to my stomach!  I literally give myself a pep talk every time I pull into the parking lot for one and talk myself into getting out of the car.  That is why what I’m about to tell you is So awesome!

A few weeks ago, I spoke at one of these events.  I spoke about bullshit.  I try really hard to make this a bullshit free zone, which is why I made the confession at the beginning of this post.  How can I expect you to trust me, if I’m not 100% honest with you about who I am, and what I stand for?

I would love to hear what you think about my talk, and if you’d like to be my guest for a monthly meeting of Sparks Talks, let me know.  I’d be glad to have you!

https://sparkstalk.com/they-many-types-of-bs-jennifer-bartlett-phelps-sparks-february-2016/

10 things I love about serving women

I love my job.  It’s not just a job or just my business,  but a labor of love and service.

Service.

Maybe that sounds strange, but I see what I do as taking care of you; your confidence, your sense of sensuality, your soul.  I choose to serve women (and some men) because I understand what you need, and I want to give it to you.  Why do I choose to serve you?  I compiled a little list:

  1. Your nervous laughter.  I know your afraid you can’t do this when you step into my dressing room for the first time.  I also know your about blossom in front of my eyes.
  2. That moment when you relax (about 20 frames into the session) and you start to embrace it.  The gleam in your eyes, the breath through parted lips, and connection you make with my lens.  I know your about to let me capture something amazing, that will make you incredibly proud.
  3. Your bravery and trust.  You barely know me, but when I ask about fixing a strap or a stray piece of hair, you quickly tell me to just do it, you trust me.  I take that trust very seriously, and I honor it.
  4. The excitement in your eyes when I act all silly and dance around at a shot I know is absolutely perfect! (I can’t hide my excitement either.)
  5. The look on your face when you see your finished images for the first time.  The tear that’s often shed at how beautiful you look.  I can’t even put that feeling into words.
  6. The way you feel when you leave my studio, your head held a little higher.  Your pride at the inner woman you’d forgotten was there, and the awesomeness she possesses.
  7. When I look at you I see myself, and every woman I’ve ever known.  I see the self-criticism and list of faults, and I want to help you forget them.
  8. You are amazing, strong, passionate, sensual, and fabulous.  I want you to know it.
  9. I want to help you embrace who you are, so together we can help our daughters embrace who they are.
  10. You are important.

Why Boudoir? Why specialize?

I get asked all the time why Boudoir?  Why specialize in this specific genre?  The answer is simple: confidence.

 As women, we are constantly barraged with images in the media of beautiful women with perfect bodies, and we’re constantly made to feel like less.  We are told we should be a certain size, look a certain way, act a certain way.  Our sexuality is something used to sell products, instead of a part of our souls.  If we embrace it we’re slutty, if we deny it, we’re prudish.  It’s a double edged sword.

I believe our sexuality is a very important part of who we are.  It’s what makes us women.  Our curvy bodies, our soft skin, our shapely thighs.  Many of us, myself included, have struggled for much of our lives to be comfortable in our skin.  Too believe we are beautiful and sexy no matter the curve of our waistline.  I  show women just how amazing and beautiful they really are.  Boudoir gives us all a chance to embrace an often denied persona, to be and feel like the woman we’ve always wished we could.  It allows us to accept the everyday goddess within.  To see her in all her glory, accept and love her.

 Everyone is nervous when they first walk into my studio, but when they walk out they all say the same thing, “I’ve never felt so great about myself”.  And this is before they’ve seen the first image.  You don’t have to have the perfect body, you just have to be you.  To allow yourself to embrace who you are, and what is beautiful and sexy about you.  There is a huge confidence boost that comes out of the Boudoir session, that many women don’t expect.  They leave my studio feeling empowered by their bodies, many for the first time in their lives.  I can’t think of anything more rewarding.

Boudoir is about taking control of your sexuality, embracing that it’s part of who you are, and making it your own.  And most of all, it’s about showing yourself that you are a beautiful, vibrant, sexy woman.