Total vulnerability

I believe in allowing yourself to be vulnerable. I believe that we as people who want to grow, to learn, to live, we have choose vulnerability. Being closed off is as good as being dead. Not living our truth is as good as not living at all. Who you are, where you’ve been and how it’s shaped you is your gift to this world.

I believe that boudoir is powerful because of vulnerability. But we can be vulnerable in other ways.

I have a confession. I have spent most of the last year hiding a part of my truth. A part that I have been ashamed to admit. A part that hurts my heart in many ways.

As those who follow me regularly know, I got divorced last year. What you don’t know is why.

The last few years of my marriage were very difficult. My husband had grown to resent me, and to resent decisions that we had made together. And he took it out on me. He took it out on me verbally. He accused me of things that weren’t true, he called me names, he made me feel as though I was worthless. And he even used that word once: worthless.

Words matter. What you say to people matters. That word, worthless, mattered a lot.

Do I hold some of the blame for the end of my marriage? Absolutely. Did I make mistakes? You bet I did. Did I deserve that word? Absolutely not. No one does.

I chose to leave, to end it. I chose to be strong for my kids. I chose to stand up for myself and not be treated that way anymore. It was truly terrifying because I had spent 20 years of my life with that man. That’s a pretty big change.

Is he a bad guy? No. Do I resent him? No. But he wasn’t the husband I want or need, and I clearly wasn’t the wife he wanted.

It’s hard for me to admit that I put up with those words for as long as I did. Several years was WAY too long. It’s hard for me to admit that I chose to be weak for so long.

So what helped me change?

Actually it was you. It was my supporters, my clients, and the many strong and amazing women that I’ve surrounded myself with. I found my strength in you. In your vulnerability, your truth, your power.

Vulnerability. It changes everything. It empowers.

Why I am no longer satisfied with “the norm”, and what I’m doing about it.

It’s a new year, which for me means it’s time to re-evaluate where I am, what I want and how I intend to get there.  I’ve had a lot of changes in my personal life in the last year, the main one being that I decided to end my marriage, a relationship that had lasted 20 years.  Regardless of your feelings about divorce and marriage, there comes a time in every woman’s life when you find yourself unhappy and off track, and you have to make a major change of some kind.

The biggest change I’m making this year: I’m no longer accepting anything just because it’s what everyone else does.  Lots of people are unhappy for a myriad of reasons, and they choose to stay that way because they fear the unknown or because it’s too much work.  I refuse to live my life by default.  I truly believe that we all have the power to change our circumstances, and it’s all about mindset.

I choose to believe I am capable, beautiful, and worth it.  I choose to believe that I can have anything I want in this world, and I choose to believe that you can too.

They say that a rising tide raises all ships, and I believe that to be true.  My mission here at Alter Ego Imaging is to provide a fun, safe environment for you to connect with and embrace your inner self, and to have an emotional and empowering experience that transcends the physical.  It’s in the service of that mission, that I invite you to get to know me better, and grow with me this new year.


Why Boudoir? Why specialize?

I get asked all the time why Boudoir?  Why specialize in this specific genre?  The answer is simple: confidence.

 As women, we are constantly barraged with images in the media of beautiful women with perfect bodies, and we’re constantly made to feel like less.  We are told we should be a certain size, look a certain way, act a certain way.  Our sexuality is something used to sell products, instead of a part of our souls.  If we embrace it we’re slutty, if we deny it, we’re prudish.  It’s a double edged sword.

I believe our sexuality is a very important part of who we are.  It’s what makes us women.  Our curvy bodies, our soft skin, our shapely thighs.  Many of us, myself included, have struggled for much of our lives to be comfortable in our skin.  Too believe we are beautiful and sexy no matter the curve of our waistline.  I  show women just how amazing and beautiful they really are.  Boudoir gives us all a chance to embrace an often denied persona, to be and feel like the woman we’ve always wished we could.  It allows us to accept the everyday goddess within.  To see her in all her glory, accept and love her.

 Everyone is nervous when they first walk into my studio, but when they walk out they all say the same thing, “I’ve never felt so great about myself”.  And this is before they’ve seen the first image.  You don’t have to have the perfect body, you just have to be you.  To allow yourself to embrace who you are, and what is beautiful and sexy about you.  There is a huge confidence boost that comes out of the Boudoir session, that many women don’t expect.  They leave my studio feeling empowered by their bodies, many for the first time in their lives.  I can’t think of anything more rewarding.

Boudoir is about taking control of your sexuality, embracing that it’s part of who you are, and making it your own.  And most of all, it’s about showing yourself that you are a beautiful, vibrant, sexy woman.