8 Things NOT to Bring to your Boudoir Session

Are you planning on having a boudoir photo session? If so, there are certain items that you should definitely not bring to the shoot. While bringing certain items can make your session more enjoyable, other items can detract from your experience. In this blog post, we’ll go through 8 things not to bring to a boudoir photo session so that you can have the best session possible!

1) Your partner

Bringing your partner to a boudoir photo session can be a great way to spice up your relationship and create a fun memory together. However, it can also add unnecessary pressure on you to perform. You may worry about what they are thinking or if you are doing a good job, which can take away from the overall experience. It’s for these reasons that I highly discourage bringing your partner to your session, unless you’re doing a couple’s session which will include your partner in the photo shoot.

2) Your kids

When planning for a boudoir photoshoot, it’s important to leave your children at home. Due to the nature of boudoir, having children in the mix is not only inappropriate, but distracting – even if they are newborns. It’s best to arrange for a sitter so that you can focus completely on the photoshoot experience and get the most out of your session. Having your children around will only distract from the task at hand and take away from the time allotted for your session.

3) Fear

When it comes to a boudoir photo session, fear is one of the most common things that people bring with them. It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous or apprehensive before your session – after all, boudoir photography is an intimate and vulnerable experience! However, it’s important to remember that you will never be asked to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with. It’s YOUR session, and your comfort and wellbeing should always come first. I will guide you through the entire process, from posing to editing, and will make sure you feel supported every step of the way. Remember that a boudoir session isn’t just about taking photos – it’s about celebrating your body and embracing your own beauty.

4) Your insecurities

When it comes to boudoir photo sessions, it can be hard to feel comfortable in your own skin. It’s natural to have moments of insecurity or feel self-conscious. But remember that this photo session is all about you! You deserve to feel beautiful and powerful.

Making you look amazing is my job as a boudoir photographer. I specialize in making women look their absolute best. I understand that this isn’t easy, but trust the process. You don’t have to be a professional model or wear a lot of makeup to look gorgeous in these photos – I will make sure of that! I want you to feel comfortable and confident in front of the camera, and I am here to help you achieve this.

Bringing your insecurities along to your session won’t do you any favors. Focus on feeling empowered and trusting yourself instead. Believe in your beauty and let yourself be seen!

5) Your phone

When it comes to your boudoir photo session, you want to give your full attention to the moment. The presence of your phone can be distracting and can take away from the experience. This is your time to be fully present for yourself and honor your body. Put away your phone and carve out this time to fully appreciate yourself and the beauty that you hold.

6) Clothing that doesn’t fit

When you come to your boudoir photo session, one thing to be aware of is making sure your clothing fits properly. If the clothing is too tight, it may not flatter you in the way you are hoping for. It can leave lumpy, unflattering lines that aren’t yours or don’t belong. On the other hand, if the clothing is too loose, it may not provide enough shape and definition in photos. The last thing you want is for your clothing to be sagging or bunching in certain places.

Therefore, it’s essential to make sure your clothing fits properly before you bring it to your photo session. Try on items at home so you can get a better sense of how they will look in photos. This will ensure you look your best and have beautiful, flattering photos that you will cherish forever.

And don’t forget, you are welcome to borrow from my client closet as well.

7) High heels you can’t walk in

When it comes to a boudoir photo session, it’s essential to make sure you are comfortable in the clothing and shoes you wear. My boudoir studio has a variety of flooring textures and heights, so it’s important to make sure that you can navigate these surfaces safely. Even if you find a gorgeous pair of high heels that look fabulous with your outfit, it’s not worth risking an injury or falling in them if you aren’t comfortable walking in them. Not only will you look less than graceful in your photos, but you also won’t be able to stand in poses that require you to stand on one leg. To ensure your safety and comfort during the session, stick to heels that you are comfortable walking in. You’ll be able to focus on looking your best and feeling confident instead of worrying about taking a tumble.

8)The weight of other people’s expectations

Sometimes, when you’re preparing for a boudoir photo session, the thought of other people seeing or judging your images can be overwhelming. It’s important to remember that this is your experience and it should be a reflection of your confidence and self-love. It’s important to not be influenced by other people’s expectations, opinions, or judgments.

Your boudoir photo session is about YOU and the chance to express yourself in a safe and supportive environment. During the shoot, there will only be you and me (your photographer), so all of your images will remain completely private unless you give your express written permission for them to be shared. No matter what, it’s important to stay true to yourself and celebrate who you are.


We all have scars. Some can be seen by all and some we carry deep inside. This life has it’s challenges and none of us is immune to hardship or pain. However, we can choose not to let that pain define who we are or how we show up in the world.

I would venture to say we’ve all been shamed about our bodies at one point or another. Either as too large or too small, or not shaped “just right” in some other way by someone else’s standards. I would love to see that kind of shaming end in our lifetime. Our bodies should be celebrated. They allow us to experience this world in the way that they work, or sometimes in the way that they don’t. Regardless, that experience helps to form who we are.

These bodies allow us to feel touch and therefore connect with other people in truly intimate ways. They carry us through our days and through the years. Their purpose is merely to be a vessel for our very precious souls.

The visible scars exist as reminders of where we have been and even of some of what we’ve learned. They aren’t ugly or gross, they are markers of our journey. Reminders that we overcame something.

It’s the invisible scars that are trickier. The ones held deep in our souls. Sometimes we don’t even know they are there, and uncovering them can be painful and scary. Sometimes the seen and unseen bind together in a tangled web, waiting for us to diligently pick and pull at the threads until they loosen.

We are all fighting a silent battle, the chinks in our armor growing with each year. We all deserve to find grace and love within ourselves. To appreciate our bodies for what they can do for us and forgive them for what they can’t. To see our own beauty, to feel our own courage, to believe in our own power. This is my mission. This is what Alter Ego Imaging is all about. Thanks for being here.

Too Sexy for Social Media?

Your privacy matters.  It just does.  Here at Alter Ego Imaging I absolutely do not share anyone’s images without your express permission.

I personally find it empowering to share images of myself.  Why? Because I view it as saying to the world “this is my body, I’ll do with it as I please and I don’t need your approval”.  But not everyone feels that way about their images.  For some women this is a deeply private endeavor.  And that is OKAY.  While I love having permission to share your images with the world, or just my private VIP Facebook group, the decision is always yours.

And keep in mind, once those images are shared online they could potentially end up anywhere.  If that scares you, then don’t give me permission to share them.  If that excites you, share away my dear friend.  We all have different feelings and ideas of what we want to share with the world.

Boudoir and vulnerability go hand in hand.  You have to be vulnerable just to have the session in the first place.  That is a vulnerability you choose, and how your images are used by the photographer after the fact should be your choice as well.  Some photographers will insist that they can use your images as they wish, as the copyright holder.  In the United States, the artist or creator of the work, in this case the photographer, is the copyright holder by default.  While it is true I am the copyright holder of your images, how they get used after your session is 100% your choice.

Let’s Talk About Stretchmarks

I know stretchmarks are a point of contention for a lot of women. Do they keep you from having perfect, flawless skin? Sure. Are they “ugly”? Of course not.

Stretchmarks are reminders of our lives. They’re like that scar on your knee from when you fell off your bike when you were 8. They show us where we’ve been. Where we’ve come from, and who we used to be.

I see them as a positive. As a representation of the battles we’ve fought, the wars we’ve won, and probably a few we haven’t. But they’re beautiful, just as you are beautiful.

Now, I understand not everyone feels the same way about stretchmarks, and that’s ok. If my clients want them minimized in their final images, I absolutely will do that. Because in the end, your images are about you, not me. You vision matters as much as mine does.

Celebrating Yourself After a Journey

One of the main reasons many women decide to book a boudoir session is to celebrate some season of their life. Whether it be a milestone they’ve reached, a new marriage, a divorce or beating cancer. The reasons are plentiful, but the baseline is the same: to celebrate themselves in their own skin.

And when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Major life change brings with it internal change within ourselves. We reconsider things and find new meaning and new confidence.

Boudoir is a celebration; a celebration of self, of sensuality, of femininity, of power. That celebration makes even more sense when your journey shifts, as a way to mark the new path.

I also feel that the session itself is it’s own kind of journey. Clients come in nervous and a little apprehensive. I get to see them blossom before my eyes as they sink into the comfort they find in themselves. And I get to watch them walk out of my studio, holding their head a little higher, their step a little lighter, their smile a little bigger. There’s a special kind of awesomeness in watching that journey, which marks another.

So tell me, what do you need to celebrate?

7 Sexy things you have in your closet right now for a boudoir session

Deciding what you want to wear for your session is often intimidating to many clients.  But, it’s not nearly as difficult as you think.  Here are 7 things you probably have in your closet or wardrobe right now that would make FIRE options for your session.

  1. A white button down shirt.  This can be your shirt or your partners.  Worn unbuttoned or partially unbuttoned with nothing underneath or a lacy bra can have some nice impact.
  2. A tank top and panties.  I think this one speaks for itself.
  3. Knee high socks or leg warmers.  Worn alone and posed strategically can be a great visual tease.
  4. Your favorite little black dress.  There are plenty of steamy poses you can do while fully clothed.
  5. Those oh-so-perfect fitting jeans. Pair them with a cute top, or no top at all.
  6. That slinky see-through swim suit cover up you only wore once at the beach.  Let’s give it a new sexy life.
  7. Your favorite high heels or thigh high boots.  These need no explanation.

On top of these, lingerie is always a winner.  I have a variety of lingerie prices and robes available for use in my client closet as well.  I just ask that my clients bring along a nude and/or black thong to wear under items for hygenic reasons.  Of course all pieces are cleaned and sanitized between uses.

A white shirt makes for great boudoir images.

The end of another year: reflections

It’s hard to believe that this is the last day of 2021. I don’t know about you, but for me the last two years have been a bit of a blur, winding together in my mind with no real distinction between the two. Perhaps that’s because 2020 seemed to stand still for so long.

I’m still here, still doing what I love. I’ve added a few new sets in the studio and planted a gorgeous wildflower garden surrounding a stunning slipper bathtub for summer sessions outdoors. When it blooms in all it’s glory I’ll be sure to share images with you.

The last two years have taught me a very important lesson about what my real priorities are and what really matters to me. You, my amazing clients, are on that list. This studio, and the magic we create together here, matters. The look in your eyes when you see your final images, matters. The way you hold your head a little higher when you walk out of my studio, matters.

My time with the people I love matters too. You’ll find my available dates for sessions going forward is a little more restricted than in years past. This isn’t to make things harder on you, but to take more control of my own time so I can be there more for my family. So I can spend more time with those who I value. I know you’ll understand, because you value me as much as I value you.

So, how has your year been? Has it felt like a blur for you as it has for me? Did you learn anything about yourself as a result of the hardships the world has faced from the last two years?

Quick Update

Just a quick update. As you probably already know, the Indiana Governor has asked that all non-essential businesses cease taking clients until April 7th. I am adhering to the mandate. While I fully expect this time frame to be extended, I am excited to get back to working with my awesome clients.

I am still answering emails and taking your call and questions. I am still here for you. We just have to do things from a distance for the time being. I am also taking this opportunity to work on a few personal projects, which I will share with you soon.

In the meantime, take care and stay safe!

Happy New Year!

This time of year is always full of planning for me. I like to plan everything about my life, and I make myself these promises about how I’m going to eat healthier, be more consistent and “do all the things”. And then I really try to do all the things, but I try to do them all at once. This is a recipe for disaster.

You see, we’re human. We can’t focus on “all the things” at the same time. It’s simply not possible. And then, when we fail to do them “all” we end up dropping all the balls and not picking them back up. This is evidenced by how long it’s been since I wrote a post on this site. It isn’t because I’m not active with my business. It’s because I allow myself to get overwhelmed by my own “failure” to “do it all”. But here’s the rub: there’s no real failure. It’s all in my head. I’m still working with amazing clients, taking care of my family and living a pretty awesome life. That isn’t failure at all. So why do we beat ourselves up for not being able to uphold some ridiculous standard we put on ourselves?

We’ve been trained to feel like less. We’ve been trained to compare ourselves to everyone and everything, and if we can’t be all of that ourselves, then we are supposed to feel like failures.

Body positivity has been a hot button topic for awhile now. But this feeling of failure is why the topic is SO important to me. We are real women. None of us has “perfect” bodies but we are all still beautiful. We are powerful, we are strong and we are amazing. It can be hard for me to fully embrace my body and every part of myself when I’ve gained extra weight and I have to buy new clothes. But does that change anything about my true beauty? Absolutely not. And I am still powerful and strong, just in the next size up. But I’m not a failure. Nor am I somehow worth more when I do the work to lose those extra pounds. That work and determination is worth something because it’s the demonstration of my power as a human being and a woman, but MY worth is unchanged by the size of my pants. And so is yours.

This year lets stop overwhelming ourselves with “all the stuff” and concentrate on what’s real. Let’s live in the experience of our own power and not define ourselves by non-existent failures. Happy New Year.

It’s not about them

Whenever I have a new prop or something cool I’ve changed int he studio, I get really excited to share that with my clients. Often, I will use it as an opportunity to take some self-portraits to share. Almost immediately after posting those images, I get messages in my inbox from men trying to hit on me. And I know this happens to my clients when they post images as well. This happens because they misunderstand WHY those images were posted.

When myself, or one of my clients posts a boudoir image out into the world, we aren’t doing it for the viewer. (Okay, sometimes in my case it is for my clients, when I want them to see that new awesome prop or background.) Women don’t post those images so people will tell them their beautiful or sexy. They already know that. She has eyes too. She saw the image before she posted it. It’s not about getting validation. It’s a DECLARATION.

A declaration she that she is brave and bold and fierce. It’s a declaration that she knows she is amazing. It’s an affirmation for herself, a reminder for herself to remember who she is. She isn’t looking for compliments or to be hit on. This is about her, it’s not about anyone else.

And frankly, even if she planned to gift the images from that session to someone, having it done wasn’t about that person either. The true gift was to herself. The true gift happened in the hour she was in front of that camera with a photographer who understands her and what she was feeling while in that studio.

So the next time you see a woman take the extra step in vulnerability and post an image of herself, don’t tell her she looks beautiful. Tell her she is amazing. Tell her what you value about her. Remind her that you know who she is too.