It’s not about them

Whenever I have a new prop or something cool I’ve changed int he studio, I get really excited to share that with my clients. Often, I will use it as an opportunity to take some self-portraits to share. Almost immediately after posting those images, I get messages in my inbox from men trying to hit on me. And I know this happens to my clients when they post images as well. This happens because they misunderstand WHY those images were posted.

When myself, or one of my clients posts a boudoir image out into the world, we aren’t doing it for the viewer. (Okay, sometimes in my case it is for my clients, when I want them to see that new awesome prop or background.) Women don’t post those images so people will tell them their beautiful or sexy. They already know that. She has eyes too. She saw the image before she posted it. It’s not about getting validation. It’s a DECLARATION.

A declaration she that she is brave and bold and fierce. It’s a declaration that she knows she is amazing. It’s an affirmation for herself, a reminder for herself to remember who she is. She isn’t looking for compliments or to be hit on. This is about her, it’s not about anyone else.

And frankly, even if she planned to gift the images from that session to someone, having it done wasn’t about that person either. The true gift was to herself. The true gift happened in the hour she was in front of that camera with a photographer who understands her and what she was feeling while in that studio.

So the next time you see a woman take the extra step in vulnerability and post an image of herself, don’t tell her she looks beautiful. Tell her she is amazing. Tell her what you value about her. Remind her that you know who she is too.

10 things I love about serving women

I love my job.  It’s not just a job or just my business,  but a labor of love and service.

Service.

Maybe that sounds strange, but I see what I do as taking care of you; your confidence, your sense of sensuality, your soul.  I choose to serve women (and some men) because I understand what you need, and I want to give it to you.  Why do I choose to serve you?  I compiled a little list:

  1. Your nervous laughter.  I know your afraid you can’t do this when you step into my dressing room for the first time.  I also know your about blossom in front of my eyes.
  2. That moment when you relax (about 20 frames into the session) and you start to embrace it.  The gleam in your eyes, the breath through parted lips, and connection you make with my lens.  I know your about to let me capture something amazing, that will make you incredibly proud.
  3. Your bravery and trust.  You barely know me, but when I ask about fixing a strap or a stray piece of hair, you quickly tell me to just do it, you trust me.  I take that trust very seriously, and I honor it.
  4. The excitement in your eyes when I act all silly and dance around at a shot I know is absolutely perfect! (I can’t hide my excitement either.)
  5. The look on your face when you see your finished images for the first time.  The tear that’s often shed at how beautiful you look.  I can’t even put that feeling into words.
  6. The way you feel when you leave my studio, your head held a little higher.  Your pride at the inner woman you’d forgotten was there, and the awesomeness she possesses.
  7. When I look at you I see myself, and every woman I’ve ever known.  I see the self-criticism and list of faults, and I want to help you forget them.
  8. You are amazing, strong, passionate, sensual, and fabulous.  I want you to know it.
  9. I want to help you embrace who you are, so together we can help our daughters embrace who they are.
  10. You are important.

7 Reasons to fall head over heels in love with yourself

February.  A month full of hearts, roses and romance.  Many of us put a lot of time and money into someone else this month, but we neglect the person we should love the most, ourselves.  I’m not saying we should be selfish, self-serving jerks, but I am saying that we should love who we are first and foremost.  It’s the only true to path real happiness.  So, here are 7 reasons to fall in love with you:

  1. You are the only person you HAVE to live with for the rest of your life.
  2. If you don’t treasure who you are, no one else will either.
  3. Loving yourself will help you to steer clear of those who don’t deserve you.
  4. We all have physical flaws, but we are all beautiful in our own way.  When you love who you are, those flaws seem much smaller and less important.
  5. You are a role model to someone. Show them what they are worth by valuing yourself.
  6. You were created perfect in your imperfection.  Embrace the imperfections.
  7. YOU ARE AMAZING!
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