Let’s Talk About Stretchmarks

I know stretchmarks are a point of contention for a lot of women. Do they keep you from having perfect, flawless skin? Sure. Are they “ugly”? Of course not.

Stretchmarks are reminders of our lives. They’re like that scar on your knee from when you fell off your bike when you were 8. They show us where we’ve been. Where we’ve come from, and who we used to be.

I see them as a positive. As a representation of the battles we’ve fought, the wars we’ve won, and probably a few we haven’t. But they’re beautiful, just as you are beautiful.

Now, I understand not everyone feels the same way about stretchmarks, and that’s ok. If my clients want them minimized in their final images, I absolutely will do that. Because in the end, your images are about you, not me. You vision matters as much as mine does.

Happy New Year!

This time of year is always full of planning for me. I like to plan everything about my life, and I make myself these promises about how I’m going to eat healthier, be more consistent and “do all the things”. And then I really try to do all the things, but I try to do them all at once. This is a recipe for disaster.

You see, we’re human. We can’t focus on “all the things” at the same time. It’s simply not possible. And then, when we fail to do them “all” we end up dropping all the balls and not picking them back up. This is evidenced by how long it’s been since I wrote a post on this site. It isn’t because I’m not active with my business. It’s because I allow myself to get overwhelmed by my own “failure” to “do it all”. But here’s the rub: there’s no real failure. It’s all in my head. I’m still working with amazing clients, taking care of my family and living a pretty awesome life. That isn’t failure at all. So why do we beat ourselves up for not being able to uphold some ridiculous standard we put on ourselves?

We’ve been trained to feel like less. We’ve been trained to compare ourselves to everyone and everything, and if we can’t be all of that ourselves, then we are supposed to feel like failures.

Body positivity has been a hot button topic for awhile now. But this feeling of failure is why the topic is SO important to me. We are real women. None of us has “perfect” bodies but we are all still beautiful. We are powerful, we are strong and we are amazing. It can be hard for me to fully embrace my body and every part of myself when I’ve gained extra weight and I have to buy new clothes. But does that change anything about my true beauty? Absolutely not. And I am still powerful and strong, just in the next size up. But I’m not a failure. Nor am I somehow worth more when I do the work to lose those extra pounds. That work and determination is worth something because it’s the demonstration of my power as a human being and a woman, but MY worth is unchanged by the size of my pants. And so is yours.

This year lets stop overwhelming ourselves with “all the stuff” and concentrate on what’s real. Let’s live in the experience of our own power and not define ourselves by non-existent failures. Happy New Year.

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