Scars

We all have scars. Some can be seen by all and some we carry deep inside. This life has it’s challenges and none of us is immune to hardship or pain. However, we can choose not to let that pain define who we are or how we show up in the world.

I would venture to say we’ve all been shamed about our bodies at one point or another. Either as too large or too small, or not shaped “just right” in some other way by someone else’s standards. I would love to see that kind of shaming end in our lifetime. Our bodies should be celebrated. They allow us to experience this world in the way that they work, or sometimes in the way that they don’t. Regardless, that experience helps to form who we are.

These bodies allow us to feel touch and therefore connect with other people in truly intimate ways. They carry us through our days and through the years. Their purpose is merely to be a vessel for our very precious souls.

The visible scars exist as reminders of where we have been and even of some of what we’ve learned. They aren’t ugly or gross, they are markers of our journey. Reminders that we overcame something.

It’s the invisible scars that are trickier. The ones held deep in our souls. Sometimes we don’t even know they are there, and uncovering them can be painful and scary. Sometimes the seen and unseen bind together in a tangled web, waiting for us to diligently pick and pull at the threads until they loosen.

We are all fighting a silent battle, the chinks in our armor growing with each year. We all deserve to find grace and love within ourselves. To appreciate our bodies for what they can do for us and forgive them for what they can’t. To see our own beauty, to feel our own courage, to believe in our own power. This is my mission. This is what Alter Ego Imaging is all about. Thanks for being here.

Fear, vulnerability, and letting go

DSC_2937DSC_2937

I don’t photograph nature very often, but I do spend a lot of time outdoors, and I take a lot of inspriation from being outside. When I’m photographing, I prefer to be in my studio with studio lighting, because that is where I have the most control, and therefor, where I feel most at ease. Despite that control, I also feel extremely vulnerable there, and I’d like to tell you about that.

I know that walking through my door for a session takes a ton of courage on my client’s part. But you are not the only one who feels vulnerable. You are not the only one exposing yourself. And you definitely are not the only one who feels fear.

I have been photographing women long enough to know exactly what it takes to get good images of you, but that doesn’t stop me from being terrified with each new face that walks through my door. You see, I feel just as vulnerable as you do. I take my job very seriously, and I want you to leave feeling amazing about yourself, and feeling beautiful and empowered. If I screw up, that doesn’t happen. The thing I fear most in my job is letting you down.

The tree you see pictured resides in my backyard. It’s a magnolia tree. Every spring it blooms these huge, gorgeous pink blossoms, and it fills the air with a downright heavenly smell. The blooms last for only about 2 weeks, and then it sheds those petals into a beautiful carpet of pale pink on the ground. It’s the perfect metaphor for every single photo session I do in my studio.

That tree comes out of every winter with bare branches. A mere shadow of it’s former self. Soon, tiny buds begin to form. The blossoms open slowly at first, unsure if they will become something beautiful, or simply shrivel and fall short. Soon, they embrace their circumstances, and open into something magnificent, only to find that they finally have to let go, and fall to the earth below.

You see, I have to leave my fear at the door in order to embrace your session. I have to let go of my vulnerability, and find confidence in myself and in what I know, and I have to put as much of myself into you, as you put into me. Together, with trust in each other and a mutual understanding, we can create something magnificent.

 

Stepping out on a limb

I have a confession: I’m easily intimidated by other people.  I’m told I come off as super confident, but inside, I’m a shaking, quaking mess.

I attend a lot of public networking events and things like that to promote what I do.  They make me sick to my stomach!  I literally give myself a pep talk every time I pull into the parking lot for one and talk myself into getting out of the car.  That is why what I’m about to tell you is So awesome!

A few weeks ago, I spoke at one of these events.  I spoke about bullshit.  I try really hard to make this a bullshit free zone, which is why I made the confession at the beginning of this post.  How can I expect you to trust me, if I’m not 100% honest with you about who I am, and what I stand for?

I would love to hear what you think about my talk, and if you’d like to be my guest for a monthly meeting of Sparks Talks, let me know.  I’d be glad to have you!

https://sparkstalk.com/they-many-types-of-bs-jennifer-bartlett-phelps-sparks-february-2016/

10 things I love about serving women

I love my job.  It’s not just a job or just my business,  but a labor of love and service.

Service.

Maybe that sounds strange, but I see what I do as taking care of you; your confidence, your sense of sensuality, your soul.  I choose to serve women (and some men) because I understand what you need, and I want to give it to you.  Why do I choose to serve you?  I compiled a little list:

  1. Your nervous laughter.  I know your afraid you can’t do this when you step into my dressing room for the first time.  I also know your about blossom in front of my eyes.
  2. That moment when you relax (about 20 frames into the session) and you start to embrace it.  The gleam in your eyes, the breath through parted lips, and connection you make with my lens.  I know your about to let me capture something amazing, that will make you incredibly proud.
  3. Your bravery and trust.  You barely know me, but when I ask about fixing a strap or a stray piece of hair, you quickly tell me to just do it, you trust me.  I take that trust very seriously, and I honor it.
  4. The excitement in your eyes when I act all silly and dance around at a shot I know is absolutely perfect! (I can’t hide my excitement either.)
  5. The look on your face when you see your finished images for the first time.  The tear that’s often shed at how beautiful you look.  I can’t even put that feeling into words.
  6. The way you feel when you leave my studio, your head held a little higher.  Your pride at the inner woman you’d forgotten was there, and the awesomeness she possesses.
  7. When I look at you I see myself, and every woman I’ve ever known.  I see the self-criticism and list of faults, and I want to help you forget them.
  8. You are amazing, strong, passionate, sensual, and fabulous.  I want you to know it.
  9. I want to help you embrace who you are, so together we can help our daughters embrace who they are.
  10. You are important.

Bitnami