When were you last scared?

When is the last time you did something that scared you? I don’t mean scared you a little, but really put yourself out there, lots of people are gonna see this, scared the crap out of you? I did that very thing today.

You see, I’m working on a new project. A project that requires me to use myself as a model. A project that will be available world-wide once it’s complete. Now, I get in front of the camera occasionally for this blog so I can show my clients that anyone can do this boudoir thing. While my website is technically available for the whole world, the whole world doesn’t see it. In fact, it only gets seen by a very small percent of people because what I do is location specific and pretty damn targeted. Unless your looking for what I do, you likely won’t just stumble onto my page.

This project is different. This project, when complete, will be available on a highly used, world wide education platform. Yikes! So, I’m a tad bit nervous about the whole thing. But here’s the thing, this project will help enable my dreams. And the truth is, the things that will take us to the next level are almost always terrifying. This is why most people never level up in real life. Because fear holds them back. Fear controls the next move.

What do you really want to do that fear is stopping you from you doing? What is that thing that will change you? What is the thing that will change your situation? What part of that thing is scaring you? And what will happen if you swallow your fear and do that thing anyway? What will you gain?

Whatever that thing is, I want to encourage you to push through the fear and make it happen. I’m learning that a big part of taking care of myself is pushing myself to get out there are really chase down my dreams. I don’t want to leave this world with regrets, and letting fear dictate my path would be a huge regret for me.

Fear, vulnerability, and letting go

DSC_2937DSC_2937

I don’t photograph nature very often, but I do spend a lot of time outdoors, and I take a lot of inspriation from being outside. When I’m photographing, I prefer to be in my studio with studio lighting, because that is where I have the most control, and therefor, where I feel most at ease. Despite that control, I also feel extremely vulnerable there, and I’d like to tell you about that.

I know that walking through my door for a session takes a ton of courage on my client’s part. But you are not the only one who feels vulnerable. You are not the only one exposing yourself. And you definitely are not the only one who feels fear.

I have been photographing women long enough to know exactly what it takes to get good images of you, but that doesn’t stop me from being terrified with each new face that walks through my door. You see, I feel just as vulnerable as you do. I take my job very seriously, and I want you to leave feeling amazing about yourself, and feeling beautiful and empowered. If I screw up, that doesn’t happen. The thing I fear most in my job is letting you down.

The tree you see pictured resides in my backyard. It’s a magnolia tree. Every spring it blooms these huge, gorgeous pink blossoms, and it fills the air with a downright heavenly smell. The blooms last for only about 2 weeks, and then it sheds those petals into a beautiful carpet of pale pink on the ground. It’s the perfect metaphor for every single photo session I do in my studio.

That tree comes out of every winter with bare branches. A mere shadow of it’s former self. Soon, tiny buds begin to form. The blossoms open slowly at first, unsure if they will become something beautiful, or simply shrivel and fall short. Soon, they embrace their circumstances, and open into something magnificent, only to find that they finally have to let go, and fall to the earth below.

You see, I have to leave my fear at the door in order to embrace your session. I have to let go of my vulnerability, and find confidence in myself and in what I know, and I have to put as much of myself into you, as you put into me. Together, with trust in each other and a mutual understanding, we can create something magnificent.

 

Why boudoir is a feminist act

I absolutely consider myself a feminist.  I believe we are all equal.  We all deserve to be treated the same, paid the same, and have the same benefits.  That being said, men and women are different creatures with different needs, wants and desires.  Women are often treated as though our needs and desires are bad or shameful.  That double standard (sex is good for men, but bad for women) is so pervasive in our world that it colors how we perceive everything.

 

Many have questioned me about boudoir.  I have been told I am objectifying women, and holding women back by making them sexual objects.  That simply isn’t true.

 

Objectification happens when a person is looked at or treated like an object by someone else.  Objectification is done by one person to another with out their consent.

 

Boudoir is an experience.

 

It’s about claiming your own sexuality, and choosing to showcase it in the manner you deem fit.  It’s about embracing an aspect of your true self, and allowing that one aspect to be free for a time.  It’s about femininity, and the things that make us women.  Most women have breasts.  Women have hips and thighs, and other body parts.  Embracing, loving and showcasing your own body parts is empowering, not objectifying. Women are soft, vulnerable, beautiful, elegant, shy, coy, daring, brave, sexual, loving, kind, provocative…

 

We are many things.

 

Boudoir isn’t just about what we look like, but also about feeling, emotion, texture, mystery, confidence…

 

It’s about everything that goes into making us who and what we are.

 

Boudoir is a feminist act because we are claiming our own bodies and our own souls.  We are CHOOSING how we are seen, and how we see ourselves.  We are making a choice to be vulnerable in a positive way. We are choosing to be ourselves and embrace everything about us that makes us women.

 

Boudoir is an act of bravery.

Bitnami